four exercises in surreality

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The other night, at about 4am, Stephen sits up in the dark, bolt upright. In a loud voice:

S: you're going to snap them!
R: What?
S: You're going to snap them.
R: (shakes his shoulder) Um, I think you should wake up now.
S: Hum. (lies down and turns over).
R: what did you think was going to snap?
S: (snuffle).. fishing rods.
R: what?
S: shut up.

We'd just watched Man VS Wild on TV where this otherwise preppy English dude was surviving with nothing but a knife and a pot in remote jungle by the Amazon. Stephen was amazed by the way this guy fashioned a decent bow and arrow with the knife and killed some piranhas for food. I thought it was great he was having dreams about this now.

Come 6am, when the alarm goes off:

S: (snuffle)
R: hee hee, "you're going to snap them!". Do you remember?
S: shut up.

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This morning, driving to work, three geese run onto the road just as I am approaching and stretch out their wings at me, like people would run out and hold out their arms to say "STOP!". I managed to brake in time and move slowly past, but something about the looks on their faces made me wonder if this was some kind of early morning goose game they were playing.

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I got a call from an AD on a film set that a world famous actor (who I don't know at all) wanted to ask me something, and was it OK if she gave him my number. I'm still waiting for the call.

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Remember the 'timely' audition I mentioned last post, the 'non commercial' one? This was the opening conversation:

A: Hello Roseanne, how are you?
R: Hello, fine thanks.
A: Roseanne is a filmmaker. I loved your film by the way. Take 3.
R: Yes. How ironic is this? (I look down at my schoolgirl outfit)
A: Ahahaha. Ha.

What proceeded to transpire was the single most embarrassing audition I have EVER had the misfortune to remember. I had to learn a song, and like a muppet, I copied and changed some stupid dance choreography I had gleaned off the internet to do with it. If ever there was proof of some kind of cosmic justice - ostensibly for making a film about Chinese actresses who through some kind of internal masochism subject themselves to denigrating auditions - then this was it. I didn't get the part (duh), and now I get frequent and horrible flashbacks whereupon I will suddenly punch the steering wheel or slap my forehead on the nearest wall in a desperate attempt to forget.

Why, why, why?

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Breakfast:
leftover rice, courgettes and chicken
verdicts:
mm. nice simple ricey leftovers. No fuss.