never trust the Rialto when quality projection is on the line

So I finished Christine Vachon's latest book 'A Killer Life' (which took me all the way through China!) and got all excited because I'm Not There was still showing at the Rialto.

I forgot I'd made a vow never to watch films in Rialto Newmarket's digital projection suites again, possibly because I'd bumped into a resident projectionist there a while ago who assured me that they had improved their system.

So, I'm looking at my I'm Not There ticket and my heart sinks. It's in Cinema 2 (cinema 1 & 2 = digital pain for the same price as a celluloid movie = abomination, now fixed perhance?). It's OK, I think to myself - I'm here now, I paid for the parking (in actuality, I've paid more for parking because of the faulty parking meter, but that's another story), it's not showing anywhere else.

I'm in the cinema and the screen is just as pixellated and rainbow-effecty as it always was, and to add insult to injury, the curtains are not pulled back far enough and the picture is spilling onto them. I calm myself down - I'm here now, parking paid for, just enjoy the movie. This is better than my home system, right?

The lights dim. The picture's not too bad (apart from the pixellation and rainbow effect and the picture on the curtain) - this beats my home system, etc etc. OK. Nice black and white opening sequence. Arty montage, you know. Nice music and sound effects. People moving their mouths, no words, interesting creative choice, but it sets a scene. Mm, a cast to appreciate - Cate Blanchett, Heath Ledger, Christian Bale. Christine Vachon, yay. Todd Haynes, yay. Nice music, still no dialogue, but that's OK.

The final opening credit. Good, we're getting into the movie proper. A scene with a kid getting onto a train... annnd... here's the interesting part - there's the sound of the train, the arty montage is over and the kid's having a conversation with these two bums, but we still can't hear it. Mouths are moving, no words.

And get this... of about 8 cinemagoers in the audience, including myself, noone says anything for a full 30 seconds because they think Todd Haynes was just being arty.

This is a sign. I pick up my bag and stand up.

Me: Um... this isn't right.
others: (silence)
Me: Um... has anyone seen this movie before?
others: (murmurs - no, no)

Another gentleman and I troop down to the Rialto front desk where there is your stereotypical young slacker/underling who slouches into his RT ("uh... yeah, there's no sound in I'm Not... what? ... Oh, yeah, no voices sound. What? Yeah."). When I ask him to start it again he informs me that the movie is not like a tape that you can start from the beginning. Hey man, if it's on DVD I beg to differ, but if I'm going to get my money back I'm not complaining. I get my money back, and a lesson. That's to stick to my vows and never trust Rialto's digital projection ever again. Or any video digital projection for that matter. Apart from IMAX, I'm not giving digital projection one iota of my trust UNTIL IT FRICKIN' PROVES ITSELF.

I'll rent I'm Not There on DVD in a year or so I guess.

I fled to the St Lukes multiplex (which, for all my griping, has never let me down projection-wise) and watched The Incredible Hulk and Sex and the City to stop sulking.

I have to say that I was one of those who didn't mind the Ang Lee Hulk. This one was apparently more of a crowd pleaser, and I definitely thought the screen chemistry between Ed Norton and Liv Tyler was more compelling. The set pieces were executed with the usual pizazz and style that I've come to expect from these recent Marvel epics (an expectation that Indiana Jones' latest crummy effects failed terribly with its uneven virutal lighting and 'vaseline' glow to mask bad keys or something), and the story was OK. Not great, but passable.

The theatre for Sex and the City was filled with appreciative women/fans, so when I wanted to yell at Sarah Jessica Parker to get over herself, I managed to restrain myself. There were some great one liners (mostly delivered by Kim Cattrall in that does-she-actually-speak-like-a-phone-sex-line-all-the-time? voice) - but mostly, the film was a thinly veiled fashion show and high-pitched hymn to the rampant religion of Materialism, engineered by corporations to fuel the idealogy of Consumption.

As you can probably tell, I've been watching: http://storyofstuff.com/

It's a good watch. Is it as riveting a watch as 3 and 2/132th movies in two days? Definitely. I should probably turn off my computer before I go to bed. But not before I put down:

Breakfast:
Rice and leftovers (tomato and egg, Chinese style!), Milo

Verdict:
Ya can't beat leftovers!